The Ultimate Hacking Tutorial – The Gibson

Welcome to what may very well be the most important blog post ever written.

I initially started this blog not as a way to talk about news (though we do a bit) but rather as a way to educate the community through simple tutorials and instructional readings. I believe that some of the biggest secrets in the hacking community are some of the most closely guarded. Today, right here and right now, we are going to blow the lid off of these secrets. For the sake of proactive security and keeping knowledge free, today we will cover the most uber of uber tactics: Hacking THE Gibson, 101.

For those of you that don’t know, the Gibson is a term which gained some major popularity with the release of the 1995 movie, Hackers. Despite the user rating of 5.7/10 on IMDB, this movie is incredible. While its cinematic integrity may be questionable, it provides a vast wealth of information to the beginning hacker. For the sake of saving me time:

A young boy is arrested by the US Secret Service for writing a computer virus and is banned from using a computer until his 18th birthday. Years later, he and his new-found friends discover a plot to unleash a dangerous computer virus, but they must use their computer skills to find the evidence while being pursued by the Secret Service and the evil computer genius behind the virus.

What that summary leaves out is the fact that the “evil computer genius” that is behind the virus, is also the system administrator of one of the infamous Gibson computer systems!!!

Now, per any usual massive uber tutorial, here is the disclaimer. I refuse to accept any responsibility for any damage you cause to 1) your system and 2) any Gibsons harmed in the process. In the event that you get busted by the man for practicing such a 1337 exercise, above all else, when you are being hauled away in handcuffs, be sure to shout “Hack the planet,” at the top of your lungs. For an example, please see below.

Note:  Unfortunately embedding this video was disabled by the user, which is a shame because had I been able to embed it into the post itself, it would have made it just that much sweeter.  Please see this link. (This clip makes me laugh every time I see it. It also makes my girlfriend shake her head at me.)

Think you can handle that? Good, then let’s move on to the next step.

First thing is first, this is no tutorial for chumps. The previous things we have covered have been pretty straight forward, get some dependencies, sudo apt-get install something, MAYBE compile something from source, you get the idea. This is a different playing field, we are now venturing into the underground. The first and most important thing you will need is a bad-ass desktop. This cannot be a Windows OS. Linux is preferred, but BSD would probably be better since even fewer people use it as a desktop OS. Once your desktop is assembled, it should look similar to what you see here.

Please be advised that while I think that screenshot is from a video game, it should still look roughly the same. It is imperative that “bank code” be displayed in the lower portion of your screen and that your password cracker is always accessible as you will most likely need to crack an approximate shitload of passwords at any given time. Before moving on, you will need a sweet video card. In case you don’t know, the inside of a gibson looks like this. You cannot hack something that rad without the proper hardware so be prepared. No rollerball mouse either!

After your box is configured for maximum h4×0ring, you need to assemble your crew. Your crew should consist of, but not be limited to:

At least one female, nothing is worse than a bunch of dudes on their computers without a single female around. This female should look a bit edgy and have massive attitude but should not be afraid of some code crunching. In the event you cannot find a female to hang out with you for this experiment (though I cannot imagine why), a cardboard cutout of a young Angelina Jolie will suffice. Note the haircut, very uber though not even remotely appealing.

A hopeless dork who in his attempt to gain acceptance into the community, makes some stupid mistakes like getting the entire crew busted but also ends up going “wicked stupid,” on the Gibson at the end. It should be noted that this kind of stupid is a good kind, unlike the previous kind which involved getting the team swept in a massive shitstorm. If this guy doesn’t have underdog potential, I don’t know who would.

You also must have a guy who is so inexplicably weird that there is absolutely no reason he should be in the movie other than comic relief. Thankfully, we have CerealKiller for this purpose. You are in charge of providing your own comedic person who appears to have no skills other than being loud and at times, mildly entertaining.

Lastly, we need the big dog. In the movie, Dade Murphy, A.K.A. ZeroCool (what a terrible alias) was a supreme virus coder who demolished Wall Street in a single day with some kind of hellbent worm or virus or something. Anyways, later in the movie he and his incredible skill set become the only real hope this team has of defeating the vindictive sys admin of the Gibson as well as the only one of these guys who has an actual chance of getting a date with the only tech nerd girl in the whole bunch. Where you will find a guy this rad, I have no idea. Good luck.

Assuming you have done everything correct up until this point, you should have something that looks like this. You should also know that leather jackers, rollerblades and tech vests are NOT optional. If your crew feels that they look stupid, show them the previous picture and they will see that nothing but fun awaits them in their venture to overtake the Gibson.

To be honest, I cannot imagine what else you would need to hack the Gibson. Get your sweet h4×0ring rig, your crew, rollerblades etc. and get started. Anything I didn’t cover is a minor detail which will not have any real effect on your ability to successfully pwn this box. In the event that you want to compare your results with a successful takeover, check the video below for how good of a job you did. If you are in fact not playing an older Jewish man in an exciting game of chess, don’t worry, you can complete that step at any point in the process.

This is not just a guide for attackers. In the event that you are ever on the receiving end of an attack in which case you yourself are the evil administrator, this can be a guide for you as well. Don’t forget, when there is a new virus eating up memory and you don’t know what to do, simply type ‘cookie’ and all will be fixed.

Until next time, share the knowledge and never underestimate the power of a garbage file!

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• Henry Gibson, 1935-2009
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~ by ohsoninja on April 20, 2008.